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“Time heals all wounds,” so it is said. But in truth, it takes a lot more than time. It’s been 2 years and 4 months since Anita died. Christmas 2010 was a horrible time – not the day itself but the entire month of December that year brought stress and pain piled upon itself. But Christmas [...] I’ve been sick this week. After a huge party to celebrate my 40th birthday – which was amazing – Penny got sick last weekend and then I caught it, mainly in my sinuses. I am not sure why being sick always brings waves of grief on me, but it does. Perhaps because Anita took care [...] In an email to her mom…Anita wrote: 4/23/04 Ben did the most amazing thing this morning … he was awake for about 10 or 15 minutes before Julia. When Julia woke up she yelled out so we would know she was awake. Ben walked into the bedroom, took her hand to help her up, and they held [...] Penny turned three earlier this month. Her mother died when she was one and a half. It’s made me think a lot about time and lifetimes. Christmas 2004 December is the most stressful month of the year for me. It’s been this way since the older kids started school full time, maybe even a bit before that. My list of things to do is not unlike many people: putting up decorations, planning and attending school parties, baking and candy making, shopping for [...] In the first couple of months after Anita died, I had dreams where she would make an appearance. At the time, I spent my days in sorrowful numbness, so the dreams were my chance to see her again. I typically awoke with a smile and a feeling – almost like relief – that I could [...] I keep trying to fool myself that as time goes on it will be easier to talk to people about Anita’s death. In most cases, it is not a problem, at least when the people already know she is gone. But in the last two days I have thrice run into situations where people did not know. [...] In Anita’s journal, under the heading Mental Models >>> Family, Anita wrote important things about her family. About Ben she said: May 25, 2006 - Ben is everything I wanted in a son physically – a strong, handsome black boy. I found this on Anita’s computer titles “Read me” and dated December 21, 2006. It is a passage from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. Counting The Cost, By C.S. Lewis: “The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self–all your wishes and precautions–to Christ. “Christ says ‘Give me All. I don’t want so [...] This is a letter I received last week from a friend and law firm co-worker of Anita’s. I love reading things tlike this because it reminds me of many little things that I sometimes lose sight of. I was 26 when I met Anita. She started as a senior associate in the litigation section at [...] |
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