Anita and I rarely went a day when we did not see each other. I’m not sure how other couples do it – sometimes I felt like everyone did it like us and other times I felt like we were completely unique (weird).
We were married for 5,479 days (15 years plus 1 day). Prior to that, when she had moved back from Philadelphia and finally found a job in Lincoln (where I lived), we saw each other every day – in fact, I finally just moved in to her apartment to save on my own rent.
So that adds up to 5,752 days in 16 years. (Before that she was in Philadelphia and prior to that we were dating since January 1993 where we didn’t necessarily see each other every day.) I was able to actually count every time we had been apart in that time. 64 days.
Now, 32 of those days were in the summer of 1997 when she had an internship in Omaha while I still lived in Chicago (one of us flew to see each other every weekend). If remove that period, we averaged not seeing each other for only 2 days per year for 16 years. The longest period of time was 10 days when she was working for a week and a half in New York on a case, but then we both flew and met in Washington, DC, for Thanksgiving with her brother.
We both hated being apart from each other. We didn’t sleep well when we were apart. We were support for each other every day. We talked every day, many times for 1-2 hours straight. Talking to each other was one of our favorite pasttimes.
I find life very quiet now. I love talking to my friends and neighbors on the phone or when they drop by, but it’s not quite the same. I miss her presence, being close, touching, kissing, smiling, breathing, sighing, laughing, cuddling. Nothing can take the place of that – not friends, not even my kids, nothing. God comforts me, but even He does not give me a physical presence.
When you are with someone virtually every day of your adult life, someone who has been with you as you matured, found God, birthed children, accepted Christ, been a factor in every major decision — it’s hard to one day suddenly NOT have them. The time of my days seems empty, even when I fill them with things to do.
