THE TEST
I mean good grief! How hard can it be? He hasn’t given me a broken body to master, a dysfunctional mind to tame, or a spirit hardened by time and trials too many to count. I want for no worldly thing – not food, shelter, clothing, money, power or prestige. My career was one of the most (begrudgingly) respected and coveted. (How many times have you heard the statement, “Why can’t you just be a lawyer or a doctor?) My family was an inexhaustible web of support, wisdom and experience. It felt somewhat like playing craps with weighted dice. How could I lose?
Recall, though, that problems and opportunities are two sides of the same coin. To be sure, we are much more familiar with the story that begins on the problem side and, with regular and healthy doses of prayer, diligence and hard work, our protagonist crawls through the muck and ultimately rounds the corner to rest blissfully on the other, more enlightened, opportunity side. But what about the guy that starts on the opportunity side? What do you do when you’ve got it all but you’re still miserable? What on earth do you pray for when He’s already given you everything on earth? What do you fill your Life and your Home with when you’ve looked at everything the world has to offer and it’s just not enough? Viewed through that lens, the guy who starts on the “problem” side may be a lucky soul, indeed. He knows what he lacks – if you’re poor, seek money. If you’re sick, seek healing. If you’re tired, seek rest. If you’re broken, seek renewal.
I’m not blithely suggesting these conditions are at all easy to experience and endure. I can only imagine (and, hopefully, will only imagine) the very real pain of them. My only point is that, when your ailments are on the outside – when you’re paralyzed or abused, if you live in the projects or on the street – the answers to your problems are viscerally real. But when the paralysis dwells in the spirit, when the abuse is self-imposed, and if the slums and projects are your heart and mind – all the while living an externally “perfect” life – how do you ease the pain of it all? Getting more “stuff” just won’t work. You’ve got enough stuff. It’s not stuff that you need. So if filling The House with more “stuff” is not going to “take good care of it while He’s gone,” what in the hell am I supposed to put in this big empty House? What in the hell am I supposed to do with this big empty Life? How in the hell do I fill this big empty Me? This story is about how I answered those questions – one room at a time.
