Sometimes inspiration comes from funny places.
This time, when I flipped through Anita’s bible I found a folded up fortune cookie fortune. I opened and read it.
“Progress always involves risk.”
Examining the pages surrounding, it was stuck between the pages of Psalm 41 and Pslam 42. The Pslam 41 page was folded back to mark it. However, I am not sure they are relevant to the fortune.
Why would Anita keep THIS fortune? The answer was evident to me, that Anita struggled taking a risk. She often opted for a “safer” path. A path that paid a monthly paycheck. A path that kept her for years from pursuing her dream of opening her own business. Her riskiest investments were I-bonds and a money market account.
Certainly there is nothing wrong with a monthly paycheck or jobs that get them. I am certain that many people are doing their Godly work in those jobs and our country could not run without them. But it was Anita’s dependence on that job that caused a large portion of her struggle.
Risk is the opposite of secure (or pretty close). Anita felt secure in a job with a paycheck, even if she was sure that was not where she was supposed to be. But did she? I asked her. She sought security from her job but worried about losing it. She sought security from the money but was confounded whether to spend it, save it or invest it. But neither the job nor the money brought her comfort.
To step out on her dreams, she would have to step away from those things and try to find security in something else. Maybe her hard work? Maybe our savings that we could live on while she built the business?
What about God?
When she finally followed her dream and opened her own business, she did it on faith. It started as a small step. She was wound up enough to finally admit that her life was not where He wanted it to be and she was the one resisting it – out of fear. That was no small realization, but I remember sitting at the bottom of the stairs in the foyer when she told me she was going to quit her firm job and start her own practice. It was terrifying and cathartic at the same time. I was overjoyed because I knew this was a path she needed to pursue for herself and her future. It was a risk she HAD to take to progress to the next stage of her life.
(Aside: Often I have found that I don’t make decisions involving huge change out of fear, but I wait and wait until a decision is forced or made for me. However, the times that I have been proactive – taking that risk – it seems things have turned out for the better, and with less stress on me.)
Still, Anita kept faith in money – our savings. But as the money dwindled, she was forced to place more faith in God and less in the money. It was a painful, frightening process. But I believe it was the way that God taught us to truly depend just on Him and not on worldly things. He did take care of us the whole time, as He is still taking care of my family.
I am happy remembering Anita finally willing to take that risk and then seeing the amazing effect she had through the people she touched through that business.
