Birthday Surprises

Yesterday was my 39th birthday. I kind of have a thing about birthdays. I think they should always be special and, no matter what you do, a joyous day. I think we mark time by our birthdays more than any other day, just because that means we’ve lived another year and seen another year’s worth of things, good or bad.

I had often said that I didn’t mind getting older because every year (since I was 21) has been better than the previous year. Well, my 17 year run came to a big halt as year 38 in my life was decidedly NOT better than previous years. Anita didn’t even make it to 38, she died before her birthday last year.  Now here I am turning 39 when my love will be forever stuck at 37.

Every year on my birthday, I take come quiet time to contemplate the blessings and state of my life and what it means to be my age. Truthfully, I wasn’t really feeling good when I did that yesterday – literally. I have come down with this cold (or something) that lies in my sinuses but the main symptom is all over body aches that started on my birthday morning. Yipee. So, I tried to digest my ibuprofen and prefer to go back to bed; it wasn’t the most auspicious start to my birthday.

I did, however recieve a constant stream of well wishes from waking to sleep including over 100 Facebook messages and at least a dozen phoen calls adn text messages. My family and friends delivered a tsunami of support for me, and for that I am thankful.

I ran out of ibuprofen, so I stopped by the grocery store to get more on my way to a play at my son’s school where I ran into another friend who wished me well on my birthday.

After the play, I took the opportunity to go by the cemetery which brought me to the second painful thing of the day. They had installed the headstone on Anita’s grave the night before. I didn’t know when they were going to do it though they said they would try before Memorial Day. As soon as I drove into the cemetery, I saw it at a distance, it’s unique color and oval shape sticking out – unique, just like Anita was. I fell down in front of the marker that I had waited nine months for and wept for a long time. Penny asked me what was wrong and put her hand on my back. I cried so hard I lost my left contact. Penny and I finally made our way to the memorial bench that we also had put up. Little Penny climbed up beside me and sat, quite contented, until I was ready to go. As we drove away (seeing with only one eye), Penny kept saying, “Bye bye, mommy. Bye bye, mommy.” until we were out of sight.

At that point, I wanted to call it a day.

My day brightened, however, when Ben and Julia came home from school. They brought me a gift and card. When I opened the $25 Visa gift card, their smiles were ear to ear. I could “get whatever I wanted”, they said. They were so proud of themselves even though they could not agree on a gift (their aunt told me), but the smiles were the real gift. It could have been a jar of pig’s feet for all I cared, they were just so happy to give it to me.

They found this clever card that said, “Dad, here’s a wish for a wild, crazy, outrageous birthday…but really, you deserve something better than a normal day with your family! Happy birthday, Dad”. The inside played sounds of kids fighting, things breaking and animals screeching. Quite a realistci representation fo our life (sans animals, unelss you count the kids).

After swimming and dance practice, I took the kids to Zucca, an Italian place that Anita and I used to take them sometimes for pizza. They had not been there since before Anita died, so it was nice and we all enjoyed it. On the way home, we stopped and bought a cake (I had planned to bake a cookie cake but didn’t feel up to it). We came back and enjoyed out dessert together.

So the day ended much better although I still have the aches and am taking more drugs for that. And I am also fairly optimistic that 39 will be much, MUCH better that 38 for me.