Road Trip 2010 – part 1

Anita died August 21^st, 2009. Over the next several days, scores of people came to the viewing and funeral. Still, many more could not make the trip that would have liked to. By the day of the funeral, I knew that I would make a trip to visit these people, located mainly in Nebraska, when the kids were out of school.

Our 2010 road trip was about many things.

First, it was about connecting with people, friends and relatives who had gone unseen for years, maybe decades. Too long, in any case.

Second, it was about taking our time. Too many times (every time?) when we returned home, we saw family (most important, for sure!) but then left to go home, spending more time driving than seeing people. So with a summer, and no job obligations to keep us home, we could spend more time everywhere and see more people.

Third, it was about an experience. After Anita died, I made a list of about a dozen places she and I wanted to travel with the kids. Mt. Rushmore was one of those places. I had been there 5-6 times as a kid and Anita had been there once as a kid. For me, it was important to expand my children’s worlds and minds while following a desire Anita and I made as a couple.

The trip was talked about but not planned for a long while. It’s shape was formed by a few things. First, we wanted to see the Chicago Fire play, so I found July games in Chicago to attend. Second, my dad’s cousin who lives in Saudi Arabia was bringing his family to Nebraska for the 4^th of July. We had to see Mt. Rushmore and the Black Hills (the purpose of the trip) and I invited my cousin Michelle and her family to join us there. I also planned three meetings along the way: one with Anita’s college sorority friends, one with my friends from high school and finally one with all of our friends in Chicago.

The Fire game was rescheduled (we go back on Labor Day to see the game) but we still did everything else.

The trip became something more too. It became a walk through my life before and with Anita. I did a lot of reflecting on how I got where I am over 39 years as I went past three of my childhood homes, my two elementary, middle and high schools, the university we both attended, the dorms we lived in, Anita’s sorority house, two houses I lived in during college, two of our apartments in Lincoln, three apartments in Chicago, Anita’s law school and work building and four of my former job locations.

Each site brought back memories and stories, many which I still hope to write and capture for our children. Reliving our favorite restaurants and favorite stores with the kids was emotional and therapeutic. I was sad to find out the closing of my favorite record store in Chicago, Dr. Wax. I was even more disappointed by the closing our Anita’s and my favorite bookstore, Transitions, a little new age place with a great coffee shop amazing white chocolate chip cookies. We were always at peace in their Feng Shui designed space with book categories like “Creativity” and “Folklore”.

I miss those times. I miss Anita even more. But I did find optimism for my future. God has wonderful things in store for me, if I can figure them out. Those times don’t have to fade away. They can become part of what I create in the present.

I kept a short, daily journal via Facebook during the trip. In the following parts, I have expanded it to give a more detailed description of our adventures.