“Time heals all wounds,” so it is said. But in truth, it takes a lot more than time.
It’s been 2 years and 4 months since Anita died. Christmas 2010 was a horrible time – not the day itself but the entire month of December that year brought stress and pain piled upon itself. But Christmas 2011 was not nearly as bad, so I will give time a little credit.
2011 was going to be my year of recovery, and although it didn’t take the path I envisioned, I think it ended well enough. I had stress and depression working from me on one side. Other other I had optimism and determination to make the most of our lives. This is the recurring theme that runs through my life now. We don’t know how long we will be around so you better make the most of this day, this month and this year. When will we make time for family and old friends? If not now, when?
I place a premium on exploring the world with my kids. We talk about current events and what countries our friends grew up in, study maps, and sight see in historic cities. I love to travel with and without my kids and I plan to continue. In 2011, I saw Austin, TX, Hartford, CT, and New York City alone. With the kids we went to Disney World, Nebraska, Chicago, Manhattan and a road trip to Charlotte-Washington DC-Baltimore-Philadelphia-New Jersey-NYC.
By fall, I was busy with work (and happy with it!), the kids were doing well in school and activities, and I felt like our life was on track – no where near perfect but at least I was not all consumed with grief and sadness. And by December I was able to be productive! Imagine that. I planned a birthday celebration for Ben, sent Christmas cards and letters, shopped for and wrapped gifts, and (with some help from my organizer) got my house to a place I was happy with.
On Christmas day, the bitterness wasn’t as acute. This was our third time around without Anita so we knew how it went. We hosted a lot of family and a lot of love.
I am actually looking forward to 2012. I plan to make it my year of blossoming.
Recovery is so Christmas past.
Yes Greg, Time does heal. I am glad that this Christmas was not so bad. I share your plight. We always need a plan so that we are looking forward to something. I am glad about your plans the the work you do with the children.
I pray that God will keep you and the children wrapped in His love.
love You
Mom
Watching you recover has been a process of admiration from my point of view, Greg. You’ve taken the consequences of life’s most unfathomable tragedy into your kind and intelligent hands and have gently and miraculously turned the outcome into a thing of beauty and growth for the kids. I listen in awe when you tell me about each new step. You’re a remarkably thoughtful and thought-provoking dad. Am so glad it’s getting easier, tiny step by tiny step. You’re really my hero. (I still miss her all the time.)
Greg – your strength, outlook on life and positive attitude always inspires me. For real. May you and your family continue to heal, grow, travel, love and live to the fullest. Looking forward to our many collaborations in 2012! Much love..